Monday, December 17, 2007

Something I'd Like To See From Pro Athletes

With the Mitchell Report having been released, and the names having been named, there's one thing I'd like to see from one of those named. Doesn't matter who. Instead of these apologies like Andy Pettitte's, where they say they're sorry if they did something wrong, or if they offended anybody, just come out and say something like this:

"Yes, I used {steroids, HGH}. I was trying to {build muscle mass, recover from injury, etc.}, so that I could put up better statistics, which would net me more money or more years on my next contract, which I could use to support my {loved ones, illegitimate children, maple syrup addiction, etc.} I'm sorry it {shrank my testicles, made me go bald, gave me back acne, disillusioned the children, gave the media something to get on their high horse about}, but it {worked, didn't worked} and it's in the past now. Can't I be allowed to move on? And if you won't let me move on, then to hell with you."

{Edit: Dec. 18, Dan LeBatard made a similar request of athletes named in the Mitchell Report on Pardon the Interruption today. Even though I'd still like to see this happen, LeBatard's support indicates it probably isn't a very bright idea.}

It's a variation on what I used to suggest Alex Rodriguez do with the New York media and Yankee fans. Instead of always trying to say the right thing, and coming off as cold, insincere, and commercial, and just be up front about it. If you don't like Torre, or Jeter (who defends Giambi after his steroid use, but not you after a poor playoff game), or the asshole fans who give you shit because you played poorly in four games (that happened to be the Divisional Series) when the team wouldn't even be there without you, say so. Or if you do like them, say so. And say it as loudly, clearly and profanely (or cheerfully, if you're saying something nice) as possible. I figured the fans might at least respect him for being honest and straightforward, and if not, then at least he got it off his chest. Can't keep that stuff bottled up inside, it's not healthy for you.