Conference Finals Preview

So the second round of the NBA playoffs are in the books, and all the high-octane teams are gone. Thank goodness, now I can focus on my thesis instead of watching basketball. I'm probably not serious (though I should be spending more time on my thesis), but I will admit I'm not fired up for the Conference Finals. So before we look ahead, let's recap:

Detroit/Chicago: Detroit could have swept, but chose to make things interesting and let the Bulls drag it out to six games. Credit to Chicago for not giving up, but discredit to the Pistons for not finishing them off. Whenever Detroit actually put its mind to it, they proved the Bulls didn't belong on the same court with them, which makes their periodically poor play all the more galling. Quit dicking around and finish them off, you know?

Cleveland/New Jersey: Well, I got the number of games right, but the winner wrong. My reasoning that the Cavs wouldn't be able to handle the Jefferson/Kidd/Carter trifecta seems to have fallen apart for three reasons: 1) Jefferson wasn't at full strength, and so not the player he normally is. 2) For all the areas where Jason Kidd's skills exceed Steve Nash's (defense, rebounding), or match them (ball distribution), the man frequently shoots like he couldn't hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat, as the old saying goes. Did have a hell of a series though. 3) Vince Carter doesn't seem to be what you call a "big-game player". He alternates good games with bad, the bad always seeming to be when the team needs him most.

Utah/Golden State: Got this one wrong too. For one thing, I was wrong that the Jazz wouldn't try to match the Warriors' frenetic pace. For the first two games at least, they did, and they beat the Warriors at it. Plus, I really underestimated Carlos Boozer. I had no idea the guy was this good. Of course, it helped that there wasn't anyone inside who could guard him, but that's why I wanted to see Houston play Golden State, to see how they handled Yao. If Boozer's series is any indication, the answer would have been "poorly".

Phoenix/San Antonio: For the record, I didn't have an actual team in the NBA playoffs this year. If I'm a fan of any team, it's the T'Wolves, but I admit I haven't been paying that much attention to them these last couple of crappy years (my NBA-fu is weak; what can I say?). That being said, I do like the fast-paced, high-scoring, "screw defense" teams, because I find it more fun to watch. So it's pretty obvious who I was rooting for. It just didn't pan out.

Credit to the Spurs, they played tough (mostly clean) defense. They aren't a dirty team (except for Bowen), they're just not all that exciting. They can be; with Parker and Ginobli they can run, and Duncan's good at hitting the open shooter with some pretty passes, plus he uses bank shots, which you've got to appreciate for the fundamental beauty (I never understood why the Sportscenter guys made fun of Tim and Grant Hill for using the glass. That's what it's freaking there for, why the hell wouldn't they use it!?). Plus Duncan's act when he gets called for a foul is like watching Rasheed Wallace's reactions. . . if they were being performed by a mime. That being said, I'm not all that excited to see the Spurs advance. I'm not ticked off they won. OK, I am. In fact, last night I had planned to start this section congratulating San Antonio, before unleashing a paragraph of expletives about how much I hated them. Time cools us off, I guess. But I'm not going to watch the Jazz/Spurs matchup rooting for Utah to win because I hate the Spurs, because I don't. I'm going to root for Utah because I think they ultimately make the playoffs more interesting. Besides, the Spurs are starting to turn into the Patriots of the NBA. How about letting some other teams collect titles for a few years, you've had three in the last decade!

Look, the suspension thing is bound to be brought up again and again over the years, so let's cover it now: The Spurs beat the Suns three times when Phoenix was at full strength, once when the Spurs were only at 95% (Yes, I only count Horry as being worth five percent, deal with it). Could the Spurs have won four of seven against a full-strength Suns team? Yeah, they're certainly good enough to to do that, but we'll never get to find out now. So fuck David Stern, screw Stu Jackson, and to hell with their idiotic rule. Diaw and Amare didn't even do anything, you twits! They got up and walked a few steps! No punches, kicks, profane gestures, nothing! You ruined the fucking playoffs, you suited bastards!

Sorry about that. On to the conference finals.

Detroit/Cleveland: So we've got a team that's really good, but goes onto cruise control easily, and a team with a record that says they're good, but who certainly haven't played like it so far. Look, if the Pistons played the whole series how they played their first three games against Chicago, I'd call it a sweep. But we all know they won't. They'll win the first two, sleepwalk through Game 3 in Cleveland, win Game 4 to establish the 3-1 series lead. In Game 5 LeBron will get all the calls, forcing a Game 6, which Detroit will lose, probably because they'll be too distracted bitching at the refs for the calls LeBron got in game 5. Then Detroit will finally focus and finish things off in 7.

San Antonio/Utah: I know there's almost no one giving the Jazz a chance in this, especially Spurs' fans, who seem a little pissy judging by their comments on Spurs' blogs I've seen. It's understandable; I'd be ticked if one dirty player got my whole team unfairly labeled that way. Personally, I think the Jazz are dangerous. In the first round they beat a Houston team that had home court, and two top-level players in T-Mac and Yao, leading to a dangerous inside/outside combo. Then in the second round, they quickly dispatched a Warriors team that runs like crazy, swarms from everywhere on defense, and has fans that were nearly berserk (until all the bandwagoners starting buying tickets, at least). Of the two, the Spurs play more like Houston, inside/outside with Duncan and Manu/Parker. The Jazz, unlike Phoenix, play good defense, and can run halfcourt offenses successfully, so I don't think they'll be bothered if the Spurs block their attempts to run. I'd also say they're stronger inside on the whole. That being said, can the Jazz triumph? Uh, sadly no. Spurs in 7.

Expect a Cardinals' post sometime tomorrow.