Friday, January 19, 2007

The Worst State in the Union



Over the weekend one of my friends (she will remain nameless) visited from New Jersey. She hated D.C. the last time she came down so I was eager to show her a good time. Everything was going cool until she decided she wanted to go to Virginia. My exact response to her was, "For what, Virginia sucks." Her response to me was that I hate everything and she couldnt trust my judgement on how much Virginia sucked because of my tendency to hate things. I shall now provide just some of the many reasons why Virginia is The Worst State in the Union.

1. Northern Virginia
While this is a very wealthy area and in no way like the rest of Virginia, Northern Virginia is by far the worst part. Northern Virginia is full of pretentious pricks who have had their silver spoon up their ass for way too long. Its the epitamy of suburbia. White picket fences, attitudes of superiority and muted racism. Great place to raise your kids.

2. The Rest of Virginia
I dont like to generalize about whole areas but Virginia is just a backwards ass state. Owning a spot in the top 5 of states with the most executions not withstanding, Virginia lawmakers are continually making fucked up decisions. Like the baggy pants law that stated that pants that sagged below a certain point provided probably cause and therefore allowed police to stop the offending individual. Does that seem like a loophole towards racial profiling to anyone else but me?

3. Traffic
The traffic is so fucked up in their own state that Virginians feel compelled to make the traffick horrible in DC and Maryland also.I cannot count how many times ive seen someone driving erraticly and then looked at the liscence plate to see Virginia tags.

4.Del. Frank D. Hargrove
The white republican idea of 'blacks should just get over slavery' is nothing new to anyone. But this motherfucker decided not to stop at that well traveled road last week. Hargrove is a delegate in the Virginia State House and in a recent interview said that the state apologizing for slavery is like forcing jews to apologize for killing Christ. Now I wont go into why that statement is retarded on so many levels, but this statement comes from a man that in 1986 proposed that Virginia allow for public hangings of death row inmates. After attempting to make a dumbass law like that hes been re-elected at the end of his term for the last 20 years. Yup Virginians are really on the ball.

While I'll admit I do hate some things, my hate for Virginia is well founded. Its an awful place that steals a little bit of my sould every time I enter it. I tried to tell my friend (she will remain nameless)that this place was pure evil, and now shes scarred for life. Avoid VA like the plague.

9 Comments:

At 12:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol.. so much hatred, and i didnt want to go to va so i coudl see va.. but i wanted to see my friend who was from va.. and we spent mayeb at the most an hour there at the mall, which wasnt good enuogh for you cause of some reason lol ill just leave it as steph says..."dont b hatin"

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger tonymacq said...

I thought you were supposed to remain nameless?!?!

 
At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol.. ooo well, maybe some people wont but one and one togehter

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger tonymacq said...

Lol you used I like 20 times in your response

 
At 8:50 AM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

Baggy pants as probable cause? Maybe the guy lost a lot of weight recently and is on his way to buy a belt? Now you're making him feel bad because you remind him what a large person he used to be.

What the hell, Virignia?

For the record, I was in Virginia once, briefly, as part of a family vacation to D.C. You know, see Jefferson's home, did a little driving up into the Appilachians, I think. That seemed pretty.

 
At 8:18 PM, Blogger Fitz said...

Alabama?

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Idaho?

 
At 4:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha. you're back in the game, mac-man. i'ma be seeing you soon, though, and we'll talk about what the fuck was going on during that hiatus, cuz it wasn't 'tang. and nameless (by the way, good job on keeping that anonymity), why virginia? why would you even ALLOW friends of yours to live there? dayum.

 
At 11:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

they celebrate lee-jackson day as if they are heroes when in fact they were traitors and war criminals responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of american soldiers.

their jails and prisons are privately owned corporations with majority stockholders who coincidentally are judges and prosecutors

they abolished parole in all state sentencing

if you get arrested they can hold you without bail indefinitely

driving over 15 mph over the speed limit is a felony in VA

their legal system is completely tilted in favor of prosecution with "truth in sentencing", "minimum sentencing guidelines", defendants are literally guilty before proven innocent

besides Northern VA, the rest of VA is a bunch of small towns run by small local families

they operate politically as if the civil war never ended with their priorities on state rights and they isolate themselves by holding onto old time backwards laws and flawed belief systems

va is the worst state (oops i mean "commonwealth") in the U.S.

stay there for any extended amount of time and i guarentee you'll get arrested for some bogus charge because the local police are corrupt and the judges make money from throwing you in jail, you'll end up in a 200 year old church turned into a courtroom with the beggining of the proceedings starting with the bailiff saying "God Save the Commonwealth of Virginia"

VA can suck my balls its a backwards inbred hick hellhole with no major cities, professional sports teams or any other attractions besides confederate memorials and battlefields

watch how fast you drive while ur there or u might catch a felony conviction for reckless endangerment

 

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